How to Avoid Criminal Charges Against a Family Member by Using Mediation?

The Facts

We were recently contacted by a person, we will name Cheryl, who wondered if mediation could help her family in the following circumstances:

Cheryl’s mother, Heather, is 90 years old and proudly lives in her own home. Heather is in full control of her life and her finances. Recently, Sandy, one of Heather’s grandchildren has suddenly shown an interest in Heather and her finances. Cheryl became concerned when she realized that Heather has been giving Sandy blank checks which Heather has signed with the intention that Sandy would buy groceries for Heather. Over the past three months, checks for groceries have totaled over $3,000.

On one hand, Cheryl is hesitant to confront Heather and/or Sandy about this situation. Cheryl knows that Heather will be embarrassed and angry if someone thinks that she is too old to manage her finances and she might try to cover over the expenditures. Questioning Sandy could result into a huge family feud and destroy the existing harmony between Cheryl’s siblings and their mother.

On the other hand, Cheryl thinks that Sandy may have had good intentions towards Heather at the beginning but, she is wondering if the unexplained expenditure of funds for groceries could be the beginning of more financial abuse by Sandy against her grandmother.

Happy Ending Thanks to Mediation

As a reminder, mediators are neutral third party whose role is to help families resolve disputes without going to court. We all know that family matters are fueled by emotions. Mediation deals with both facts and emotions. Mediation is a voluntary process that all parties agree to participate in with the goal of reaching a satisfactory resolution of the dispute. To do so the parties will, with the help and guidance of the mediator, design their own resolution to their dispute resulting in a solution that can benefit everyone. In this case, understanding why Sandy used her grandmother money for her personal needs was key to help this family.

During the mediation, Cheryl spoke about how she understands how important her independence is to her mother and how much she wants her to continue to live independently but is concerned that if her funds are not prudently managed Heather will run out of money to continue her current standard of living and future medical care needs.

Sandy initially defended her actions saying that all of the checks she had filled in had been for groceries for Heather and how hurt she was that the family would question her motives or actions. When pressed to explain $1,000 per month in groceries when Meals-On-Wheels brings Heather 5 meals per week, she was unable to do so and started to cry.

With the help of the mediator, Sandy admitted that in the beginning, she only wrote checks for items that she bought for Heather. But one day she needed diapers for her baby and she was a little short of funds and thought that it would be okay to buy the diapers and reimburse Heather for the purchase. That was how it started. She never did reimburse Heather for the diapers, and the next time she went to the grocery store it was easier to include several other items that she convinced herself that Heather wouldn’t mind if she bought for herself. Sandy expressed great remorse for her actions and a willingness to repay Heather.

In working to find a resolution to this situation, Sandy said that she had a part time job and she wanted to reimburse Heather at the rate of $50 per week until she had paid her back in full. Sandy further agreed not to have Heather sign any more blank checks and if Heather needs anything Sandy will inform Cheryl.

What Could Have Happened Had this Dispute Not Been Mediated?

If this situation had been reported to the police department, a report would have been taken and criminal charges could have been brought against Sandy. This would have resulted in costs to Sandy in the form of hiring an attorney and possible restitution being ordered by the Court. If the case proceeded to trial, Heather would be subpoenaed to testify against her granddaughter. If Sandy was convicted, she would have a criminal record which may impact her ability to get a job in the future.

As demonstrated in the above example, mediation can be a great alternative to court proceedings when conducted properly.

Mediation Path Silicon Valley, LLC is devoted to supporting families. Call us, if we can be of assistance in helping you resolving a family dispute. Please note that, at MPSV, working remotely with family members, beneficiaries, lawyers etc. via video conferencing or conference calls is not something new to us. We are here to help and allow you to be safe while dealing with important matters.