The use of Psychogenealogy in Mediation or How to Avoid the Exact Same Conflict to Pass on from One Generation to Another?

1). What is psychogenealogy?

Psychogenealogy is a practice developed in the 1970s by Anne Ancelin Schützenberger according to which the events, traumas, secrets and conflicts experienced by an individual's ascendants condition his/her constitutional weaknesses, his/her psychological disorders, his/her illnesses and behaviors.

In other words, this personal development tool intends to expose a family's psychological patterns such as the recurrence of the same diseases, events etc.

2). The perfect example?

Below is a perfect example of the reiteration of the same conflict between family members one generation after another:

Mary and her sister, Theresa, were engaged in a bitter lawsuit. The sisters had purchased a house together 30 years ago. Mary had made the down payment. Theresa had lived in the house and paid all of the house payments, property taxes and repairs.

Now, 30 years later, the house was paid off and Theresa was thinking of retiring and moving closer to her children who had moved out of State. Theresa thought of selling the house and using her share of the proceeds to purchase another home in a less expensive area. Over the years the home had appreciated substantially in value. Theresa envisioned a comfortable retirement.

Mary was surprised when Theresa contacted her about selling the house and receiving her share.

Mary recalled their agreement being that the house belonged to Mary and Theresa and that Theresa was paying the monthly mortgage in return for being able to live in the house.

Theresa recalled their agreement being Mary would make the down payment and Theresa would make the monthly payments and they would own the home 50/50.

During the grueling trial that stretched over several weeks, Mary produced the original deed which showed that when the home had been purchased the title was only in Mary's name. Theresa was stunned. For 30 years she had believed her name was also on title.

During a break in the trial, Mary related how their mother and their aunt (their mother's sister) had also purchased a house together 60 years ago and they had ended up in a lawsuit to determine ownership of that house.

This may seem like a very unlikely situation, but unfortunately it happens all too frequently. It almost seems that a dispute that fractured a family in one generation that was not fully resolved can be carried over to the next generation. When dealing with a dispute, it is important for it to be resolved for the individuals involved, but also for the well-being of the future generations.

After several weeks the trial concluded and the Judge ruled that the deed showed Mary as the owner. Mary was presumed to be the owner, and Theresa had failed to overcome the presumption of title. Therefore, Mary won the house.

Will this dispute end here, or will the children of Mary and Theresa someday find themselves embroiled in a lawsuit over yet another house they co-own?

3). How to overcome the repetition of transgenerational conflicts?

Most of the psychologists practicing psychogenealogy use what is called the genosociogram to help their clients solve intergenerational issues. In a nutshell, the genosociogram is a family tree embellished with positive and negative-colored ties that can unite the patient with his/her family members past. The important events are noted: loss of a child, of a home or an animal, accident, uprooting, change of life, exceptional professional success, betrayals….

This is stating the obvious that mediators are not therapists but by systematically trying to find out if the same conflict already existed in a given family in the past it can help us create a “revelation of sort” among the participants to the mediation. Suddenly they will realize that the battle they are fighting is not necessarily theirs. It also can lead some of the attendees to the mediation session to divert the responsibility of the dispute on their ancestors.

To make sure there is no misunderstanding, this is not the only technic that we use at Mediation path Silicon Valley to solve intergenerational conflict but this is for sure one of those we will explore.

At Mediation Path Silicon Valley, LLC, we encourage parties to resolve family disputes rather than allowing them to be passed to the next generation. Call us if you have a dispute that needs to be resolved today for the sake of all family members now and in the future.