Dividing a Deceased Parent's Collection: Why Mediators Are Good at It?
Dividing a parent’s collection can be a very challenging aspect of administering a parent’s estate. The reason is quite simple: with the last parent gone all that is left to hold onto for the heirs are the personal properties that the parent accumulated during his/her life. Because collections are emotionally charged – this was oftentimes a lifelong passion for the deceased and the source of many memories for the heirs - it is not unusual to see family members fight over collectibles even when the monetary value is small.
As a result, if you are not a professional trustee/ executor and you have been appointed by the probate court or by the trust documents to partition the assets of an estate that includes one or several collections, you might wonder how are you going to solve this conflict especially when some heirs/ beneficiaries unburied the hatchet and make a point of getting the collectibles attributed to them as a payoff for years of resentment against other family members?
As mediators, our first task when dealing with the partition of a collection is to find out if one is the whole. Simply put, we need to figure out if the parties involved would be willing to share between them the items included in the collection or not.
1/ Partition selection methods when the parties agree to share the items included in the collection
In a case we recently mediated, the controversy was over mom’s collection of approximately forty dolls. Everyone agreed that the dolls were not collectible or expensive. The purchase price of each doll was about $20 or less. The three children found themselves at a stalemate over who would get the dolls. Each child had valid reasons why they should get the dolls.
In mediation, it was discussed what the dolls represented to each child. Each child had a “favorite” doll that reminded them of a memorable time that they had spent with their mother. After much discussion, the family decided that each child would select one doll and that doll would represent to them their mother and her doll collection, and the remaining dolls would be donated to a shelter for abused women and their children as it was a shelter mom routinely donated funds to. In a nutshell, each child would have a doll to treasure as a memory of their mother and the family made a loving donation to a worthy cause.
Once the children agreed on sharing a collection, they still need to agree on an order of selection. We at, MPSV, like to use rotation selection processes such as but not limited to the ones described below:
The selection will be based on the birth order with the oldest child selecting one item, then the next oldest child selects one item, and so on until all of the children have selected one item. OR
The selection will be based on the birth order, with the youngest child selected one item first, then the next youngest, and so on until all of the children have selected one item. Then the process is repeated until all of the personal property has been selected.
2/ Partition selection methods when the parties do not agree to share the items included in the collection
When the children cannot reach an agreement to share the items included in a collection, a full appraisal of the collection can be done. Each item will be described in detail and a value will be assigned to it by an independent appraiser. The appraisal list will then be circulated among the children. If a child wants a particular item, they are to indicate the item. If no other children select that particular item, then it will be distributed to the child who chose it and the value of the item will be assigned as part of their distribution. In the event two or more children want the same item, then they can pull straws or flip a coin to break the tie.
In highly contentious situations, an auctioneer can be hired to take the personal property to their auction location. The auctioneer will publicize the auction and at the auction, the items will be offered to the general public for purchase. If the children want a particular item, they can bid on it at the auction. The highest bid will win.
To conclude, while the division of a parents’ personal property can be challenging, many times in mediation the family can agree on a process by which the division will occur. Mediators are in that respect allowed to be more creative than a judge who will never pull straws or flip a coin in his/her Courtroom.
It is also important for the parties involved to bear in mind that if the value of the collection is small the judge will most likely be exasperated to have to deal with this in his/her Courtroom and might either make a decision on the spot that will not take into account the emotions associated to the collection or the judge may refer the case to a court appointed referee to decide the division.
Call us at Mediation Path Silicon Valley, LLC if you or someone you know is having problems finding a solution to the division of a parents’ personal property.