Resolving a Dispute Before it Becomes a Conflict

For each one of us, words are important. They can make you happy or sad, cheer you up or impact you negatively for as long as you shall live. As mediators, we are well aware of the - sometimes - devastating power of words whether they were said with or without the intent to hurt someone and/or to shake a person to the core.

This is why, we at MPSV, believe it is important to solve a dispute before it becomes a conflict. The terms “dispute” and “conflict” are many times used interchangeably although there is a huge difference between them.

A “dispute” is usually defined as a short-term disagreement. For instance, you may have had a dispute over how much you owed on a bill. This disagreement over the amount of the billing can be worked out in a short period of time by your producing the contract and proof of any payments that you may have already made. As a side note, I just realized that our PayPal’s account states, that “disputes are permanently closed after 20 days.” Apparently, it is PayPal’s policy that a dispute can be resolve in 20 days. This incidental discovery validates our perception that the mainstream conception of disputes is disagreements that can be resolved fairly quickly. On the other hand, a “conflict” is usually defined as long-term, deep-rooted problems that involve seemingly non-negotiable issues.

Some of you may have heard about “dispute resolution” or “alternate conflict resolution” when considering a form of mediation. But where does the line really stand between a dispute and a conflict when mediators are called to the rescue?

As proactive mediators, the answer to this question is pretty straightforward: when dealing with disagreements, it is always better to start the mediation process ASAP meaning while it is in the “dispute” stage and before it becomes a “conflict.”

In the many cases we handled, most of them started off as a miscommunication between the persons involved. This communication gap almost always leads to a misunderstanding of the motives of some of the parties involved in the dispute. As soon as the intents of the parties can be explained AND understood by all, a resolution can be reached fairly quickly. In other words, the sooner you can identify the cause of a disagreement and clarify it we are on the highway to solve the issue.

This factual situation applies to all of us in our interactions with others. It just happens to be that some reasons causing some issues are a little bit more difficult to pinpoint than others and this is where mediators can help. In other words, it is stating the obvious that the sooner the parties have an opportunity to work towards a resolution, the less likely the situation will rise to the level of a conflict and an amicable solution can be found.

We know from experience that if a disagreement lingers then bad feelings among the parties escalate, the dispute may well elevate to a conflict with no way the case can be resolved other than a trial and a decision by a Judge. The parties will then end up in the Court for months or years, and attorney fees will mount at the same rhythm as the conflict escalates or even quicker sometimes!

At Mediation Path Silicon Valley, LLC, we offer a free initial consultation to encourage parties who have a disagreement to contact our office as soon as possible to find out how we could help and assist.

Don’t hesitate, contact us today to discuss any dispute you may be involved in.