Lessons to Learn from the Russian/ Ukrainian War to Bring Peace to Your Family
As we look around the world these days we watch the Russia-Ukraine war unfolding. With so much destruction and so many people fleeing the impacted areas, the question that comes to mind is: “How could this conflict have been avoided?”.
Metaphorically, every conflict has the same dynamic whether it is a war between two nations, a divorce, or a family dispute over an inheritance. Some of these similarities even translate in the verbiage used both in war and when a case goes to trial.
Below is food for thought to help you avoid turning your family conflict into a war.
In large civil cases, attorneys will rent an office specifically to prepare for the trial. These rooms are referred to as “War Rooms.” In a way, the trial process is a “war” that is being fought out in a courtroom rather than on a battlefield, but the emotions and resulting fallout can be equally as devastating as an armed conflict as there also will be a “winner” and a “loser”.
In the same vein, a parallel can also be drawn between the “collateral damages” arising out of a battle between nations and a family dispute that goes to trial.
As we look at the images of war broadcast from the Ukrainian cities, all we see is devastation and we all know that the reconstruction process will not happen overnight. While family disputes played out in a courtroom and don’t involve the threat of death or dismemberment there are also long-term collateral damages resulting from a court decision, especially for the party who loses the case. For instance, if it is a divorce case, with children involved, the children’s life will be impacted by which parent wins custody and which parent loses custody as well as how much money one parent will pay the other for the support of each child. Such court decisions will seriously impact both the parents and the children’s life for years to come.
Lastly like in a war, many times the extended family will feel the effects of a court battle. Parents will be sad to see their child’s marriage fail and the family destroyed. Grandparents will not be able to spend as much time with their grandchildren etc.
We all feel helpless as we watch the news footage from the Russian/ Ukrainian conflict. As the world prays for peace, one should never lose sight that on contrary of an armed conflict, family disputes can be resolved without a fight in a courtroom. Where diplomacy sometimes fails to bring peace to the world it is stating the obvious that we can all bring peace to our lives by amicably resolving our family disputes through mediation. If there is someone with whom you have a conflict, look to resolving that conflict as your way to bring peace to your world. To do so, you may ask yourself the 3 simple following questions:
Why it is important for you to resolve this dispute? What will you gain? What will you lose financially and /or emotionally?
Why it is important for the other people involved to resolve this dispute? What will they gain? What will they lose financially and /or emotionally?
List the consequences of not resolving the dispute via mediation (legal costs, loss of time from work and family, emotional stress, etc.).
As Thich Nhat Hanh the famous Vietnamese monk and peace activist from another war-torn land, once said: “Peace in myself, peace in the world.”. By amicably resolving your family disputes, it is one small but important step that you can take today toward a greater goal.
If you need assistance resolving a conflict in your life, let the mediators at Mediation Path Silicon Valley, LLC help you. Our mediators are trained to diffuse hostile family situations and assist the participants to look for creative solutions that lead to a consensual resolution. Our mission at Mediation Path is to bring peace to the world, one dispute resolution at a time. Let us help you.